My mother tells me

Stay in your bed

Don’t get out

Because the monsters are there

She leaves and I stay

And she tells me to sleep

And I sleep

I can hear her leaving

She forgot to hug me

And to kiss me goodnight

She has forgotten for

A long time

I don’t remember when

To me

It feels like forever

I know she said to keep myself in bed

And that the monsters would get me

If they saw my flesh

But I still keep

One hand outside the covers

And off the bed

Hoping that at least the monsters will

Hold me as I sleep

Am I too repulsive for them as well

That I must

Wait

And wait

And wait

I wait till it gets hard to breathe

Till the dust settles

Over me

And the sunlight rushes in

Like an army that attacks

I am the enemy

I am unlovable

I am unloved

I am I am I am

Am I?

So I think

And I wait

And wait

And wait

Until my mother returns only to

Forget to say anything

Hi, bye, leave, die

To forget even to acknowledge

The life

That rots in bed like

A corpse that lays

Unmoving

Still

Who only waits.